I was just being playful because I do have something in mind after reading RBC (again). And because I was thinking (since my spectrum of vocabulary is pretty much limited – children who are reading this, READ MORE WHEN YOU ARE YOUNG! Oops side note), “Gosh, what word can I use for ‘X’?”, I randomly went on http://dictionary.com/ and put in “X”, to my amazement, I found the below:

–verb (used with object), x-ed or x’d  /ɛkst/ show+spelled”>Show Spelled
[ekst] Show IPA
, x-ing or x’ing  /ˈɛksɪŋ/ Show Spelled
[ek-sing] Show IPA

1. to cross out or mark with or as if with an x (often followed by out ): to x out an error.

2. to indicate choice, as on a ballot or examination (often followed by in ): to x in the candidate of your choice.

This website caters for even single letters! But before I deviate further, this reminded me of the recent government elections when we had to cast our votes. When we had to choose a political party, what did we have to do? We place “X” on our favoured party. In essence, to put an “X”, we choose a party. It’s a choice. And speaking of choice, (also, coming back to what I read in RBC), an author writes that boundaries that He has in place for us are for our own good – they are “in His Word for us to live within.” He goes on to say the following:

He gave them not to frustrate us but so that by keeping within them we may enjoy His blessings. David wrote: “I know, O Lord, that Your judgments are right” (Ps. 119:75). God told Israel through Moses, “I have set before you life and death, blessing and cursing; therefore choose life” (Deut. 30:19)

Don’t test God’s boundaries and invite His correction. Make wise choices to live within His markers in His Word

When I was younger, I would always question and find ways and means to squirm my way around this whole boundary-thing. I would question my parents, I would question my teachers. I also questioned the church, the hypocrisy. I even questioned God. Silence answered some of my questions. Others? Answers that didn’t satisfy me at all. I would oftentime find myself in a sea of disillusioned rhetorics which got me even more…well, angry and confused.

And as I came back to the Lord, and as I chose to disregard certain questions and pursue Him FIRST, I realised I got clarity. It was as if, He gave me clarity to certain things, issues that were deeply rooted in my core. And by getting clarity (and upon acting on certain issues, dealing with certain things), there was an understanding of more things, sometimes even of His kingdom. I guess it’s as though it works in a cyclical, one-thing-will-lead-to-another kind of way. And as we come up higher, more revelation will be presented.

For one, the issue of my relationship with Him – choosing Him. When you choose Him, there will be times when you have to put to death your wants, your willfulness. I mean think of it naturally, if you are in a relationship (or friendship) with someone, you would also have expectations of the other party. And in the area (even in relation to what I mentioned earlier about boundaries), by discussing and knowing these expectations, you would know how to love the person even more, deal with the person. These expectations create healthy boundaries to avoid so much unnecessary…confusion and heartache (sigh, yes, coming from someone who disregarded boundaries for a looong time)

There’s so much I can talk about…regarding choice. But I guess, ultimately, the cross really means so much. To me at least. If you were to combine both the meanings as listed earlier above. It means choice (meaning number 2). It represents blotting out, death (meaning number 1). And if you combine it together – a beautiful picture to behold – the decision that Jesus made 2011 years ago to die for all of us (we were crossed out due to sin) because of the love He had for us. For that, I am thankful. This paved the way for fruitful living, and a great relationship with the One who created us.

C: Haha that was thurs…at work lah …Findin a lil hard to get into the groove… gulps…not motivated at all. I tink i am jus burn out fr the intensive training

R: Wow…crazy stuff! Hang in there…for 2 more mths!

C: Yeah count down to Sept break [but]…our long break only in Dec. Sigh

R: Dun sigh…. u’re there for a reason and a purpose Ask Him why he placed u in this particular sch

C: Yea. Last wk was God…..u mus see me very up. This journey is tough! Even tho deep down i noe on hindsight. I will def appreciate and see that He noes what He is dng abt it!

R: I have ALWAYS seen u very up. You have a potential, esp when it comes to teaching. You’ve been very engaging and I’m sure the students can see that too. The road is long, and that’s why we need to ask Him constantly if not we’ll be lost too and we’ll lose motivation very quickly

C: Really end of urself and jus GOD u jus haf to come thru..like RIGHT NOW

R: He is and has always been with you…every step of the way Remember the footprints in the sand

C: Thanks for the encouragement. Its like a wink frm God to say He is hearin

R: And whenever you feel like you wanna throw in the towel, or wanna punch someone etc, or feel super burnt out, burdened, remember Him, look up to Him and scream “HELP LORD!” – and of course, you can always BB msg me, or your friends, we’ll always be more than willing to pray for you.

C: Sometimes the flesh in us jus wanna dwell and feel all whiney HAHAHAHHAHA

R: Cast your cares on the LORD and he will sustain you; he will never let the righteous fall (Psalm 55:22 ). Yeah…whine and pray! I always whine to him hahahahah

C: Lemme put that as my new fb status

R: I think He is more than willing to hear us whine. Cos He’ll laugh and provide us with solutions…

What does that mean?

It means I’m sleep-deprived.
It means I’m in need of good sleep.
It could also possibly mean, LORD WOULD I BE ABLE TO HAVE A NIGHT WHEN I DON’T DREAM AT ALL?

But looking on the bright side, I’m still quite thankful (to HIM) that I usually can clock at least 4-5 hours of sleep, now that I’m studying part-time (for two months! Ha!). And to be even more optimistic, usually I don’t have nightmares!

I’m also thankful that Harry prays for me every night. I’m still not used to speaking to him on the phone, not to mention the fact that he prays for me. For some reason, I do want to pray for him but…I feel a little embarrassed to bring it up most of the time

Well, I suppose that can be changed.

=====

I’m starting this A-Z series, like one of the famous bloggers (from the US) but instead of starting with “A”, I thought of doing something…different. It’s just like me starting Proverbs (once again) by reading from Proverbs 31.

Yes, this is as random as it gets.

So now, I shall just stop randomly writing sentences and start…doing my QT. I’m interested to find out more on the topic of…don’t laugh (because I feel I’m the opposite of this adjective), gentleness!

Later!

I just wanted to write this out before I forget -

Just yesterday, I picked up my guitar and played this particular song (and worshiped Him). Just after that 10 minutes, I thought to myself that there are certain songs which are rarely (or even never) sung during service. And that particular song was one of them. I left it as that and drove to church.

When BN transitioned to the second praise song, I laughed to myself because he actually sang that same song which I played earlier. I really think it’s funny especially when I don’t even utter certain things to God but He somehow still answers or addresses certain thoughts in the head.

Papa always answers my thought processes (and queries that I shoot to myself). I suppose this is one of the ways in which He speaks to me. There’s only one main reason which I can think of – and that is He typically “shouts” at me because I’m really dense, thick in the head. But I appreciate it. I need a nudge from time to time

Anyway just a silly entry from a silly girl. I love you Papa!

Anyway enjoy

Close to two years back, when I was on an offsite company trip, one of my colleagues dropped my camera. Just last month (on my birthday), I was out with Harry and a couple of them when Harry fell on my camera. So effectively, in a span of two years, I trashed two cameras. Well, technically it wasn’t me. But somehow…oh well. And I couldn’t possibly bear to make my friends pay me back. It’s just not me.

Anyway I just got myself a new toy! I have yet to fully explore this piece of metal but I’m sure I’ll get really acquainted with it soon, since I’ve a hen’s night to attend today and I’ll be going to Malacca for church camp next week. Oh oh…I’ll also be going to NZ in two months so I’m really psyched.

Oops. I deviate (yet again).

As I was saying. I am hoping that I wouldn’t have to get another camera in the next 3 years. It’s just really costly. So far, 3 friends have trashed 3 of my cameras and I want to stop this streak! Well. If it really spoils within 2 years, I can safely say I will not get one for a long time.

So wish me luck!

Camera: 3
Me: 0

Very soon…this score will change! *cross fingers*

I suppose I’ll put up what I wrote in my journal soon.

Note to self!

Aljunied voters have decided and I respect their decision. Having committed 23 years of service to the residents, it is only natural for me to feel disappointed but this is politics.

It has been my privilege to have served them all these years and they have enriched my life. They have also enabled me to serve in various capacities as a Cabinet Minister in MITA, Health, MTI and MFA for which I am grateful.

Why did we lose Aljunied?

Mr Low Thia Kiang himself said that they won Aljunied not because the Aljunied team did not do a good job, but because the voters wanted WP to be their voice in Parliament.

Mr Low’s analysis is fair and I agree with him. This desire for a strong WP voice in parliament was a political tide which ame in through Aljunied which we were unable to withstand despite our very best efforts. Right from the start, the Workers party made Aljunied a national battleground.

The fight became one between a Workers Party voice in Parliament and an Aljunied team with two miniters, a potential Speaker of Parliament, a potential minister and a most effective Town Council chairman.

Though I wish the outcome had been different, Aljunied voters have made their choice.

Many of my supporters asked me to stay on to win back Aljunied in five years time. I wanted to level with them and told them last night that if it is better for a younger person to take on this important task. I’,m already 57 years old and would be 62 by then. Naturally I would help to ensure a smooth handover.

As we ended our campaign on 5 May, I talked about the importance of transforming PAP. This is a belief I’ve held for some time. It was not something I felt I could say when the campaign started. But , as the campaign went on, as we heard the growing cry from the heart, I decided to make it plain. Like it or not, we are entering a new phase in Singapore’s Politic development. How we respond to it will decide Singapore’s destiny in the 21st century.

I would help in whatever way I can to bring about this transformation of the PAP. I wish I had a mandate from the people of Aljunied to be a strong advocate of such transformation. But I don’t.

As for remaining in public life, I will contribute in whatever modest way possible.

Many young people has stepped forward to help me in this campaign. Even more have cheered me on. It is not good that so many of them feel alienated from the Singapore they love. I look forward to continue working with them so that the Singapore we struggle for is the Singapore they feel is their own.

As to the actual role I can play, I’ll be happy to respond to them. In the last few years, I have learnt much from my young friends. Often they led me rather than I led them. Since the GE results came out, there has been a flood of support for me espressed personally, through friends and relatives, on email and, in an astonishing way, on internet and FB. The words expressed are heartfelt. Many wrote me long passages, some in tears. I’m grateful for teh kind words and the good wishes, and will be an advocate of their cause.

As for what I’ll do professionally after stepping down as Minister when the new Cabinet is sworn in, I’m not rushing to make a decision. My wife and I thought we should take our time to think this over. We also need a break to spend more time with the family.

From the bottom of my heart, I would like to thank the people of Singapore for the opportunity of serving them in the last 23 years.