I hope you’ll be blessed by what He has done for me since I came back from Melbourne in December 2005.

I’ll try my best to make this short – promise 😉 I went overseas to study. One of the reasons why would probably be because of my family. Then I thought they were “screwed up”.

When I came back, in my first year I still had no God. It was still the same old activities – I was drinking, partying, gambling and basically doing silly things that would probably make my parents really disappointed in me (after all, I was the eldest, and I was supposed to set a “good example” to the younger brother).

Yeah, I was going to church but church for me then, was to go up to the hall, sit RIGHT at the last pew and watching the “performance” of the youths praising their God. When the pastor would say “please turn your bibles to…(yada yada)…”, I would turn to Ms Swimmer and ask her whether she had brought her bible. She would also shrug and one of us would suggest going for breakfast and out we scooted off.

That was church for me then.

And if you were to ask me, if I had died then, I knew where I was heading to – Hell. Going to church doesn’t mean you are saved. Salvation needs to be worked on continually (anyway that’s another topic which I’ll talk about in another day).

I guess Ms Swimmer knew that we probably were not growing, neither were we even bothered to want to go to church. We decided to search around for churches. After MANY rounds of looking out and visiting churches, we settled in one. We were even introduced to some sweet people who ended up being our cell group mates whom we love dearly now. It was still just… church for me until one fine day when I received news about a good friend of mine.

To cut the story short, I heard news that my ex cell group leader from Melbourne, Gabe, was critically ill. I remember spending a mere 4 days with him before he passed away.

Gabe’s passing on led me to cherish the few times I spent with him in Australia (he was one of the examples that I strive to be). And more importantly it hurled me into a series of questions and really, self-reflection. It propelled me into questioning myself about every aspect of my life, my existance and really, life.

That was my turning point of my life.

Since then I’ve been attending church regularly and faithfully attending cell (I try to at least) – I’ve grown hungry for God. I guess there are alot of things which I have given up and am in the process of giving up (I’m praying for more grace each time *grin*). Examples of things that I’ve given up (and hopefully will not touch) would be partying, drinking and swearing. I guess my friends, like Wedding Planner, and Mr Kons , would be able to attest to that.

Another aspect that I’m continuously lifting up and giving it up to God is my family. My family can be somewhat dysfunctional and like what I mentioned earlier, I do struggle from time to time but things get easier, really with God around.

When I was younger, I would always just push anger, irritation and hurt aside and save it for another day. I channel it to drinking, and venting it on Skywalker or friends around me. I would also be RARELY at home because I would hate the fact that the grandmother would tell me things like she hates the family, or she would rather jump out of the window.

Now, things are different. It does and still gets tough sometimes especially when I see things happening around me but I almost immediately lift it to Him. Things may not change but my heart changes – there is peace that surpasses all understanding. I may get a little irritated or angry but I have a God whom I can turn to – I don’t blame the parents anymore (what’s the point right?).

And even looking back at my conversation I had with my aunty, I also testified to her that things have changed. I do not want to move out anymore, at least for now. I know that God did tell me to stay at home. I did share a little with her and I’m glad I did plant a seed. I shared that with God I have changed. I believe she sees that as well.

Things have indeed changed.

And I thank Him for it.

Without Him, I would probably still be indulging in self-pity, being angry all the time, oh yeah, and being jealous of my adopted brother. Without Him, I’ll be drowning by now (or even dead emotionally, or even physically) and I really thank Him for preserving me (even kept me sane) and changing perspectives and desires. I’m slightly more matured and I pray I’ll continue to mature in Him for that’s what I want the most for now 🙂

For whoever is reading, I pray my testimony blesses you. I’m still an ongoing project of God’s and I pray one day I’ll be even more Christ-like. I also pray that you’d really consider pouring and giving your all to Him (like the little boy who offered everything he had – five loaves and two fish) because He’ll surprise you beyond what you can imagine – He’ll give you what the world cannot give and He offers the most amazing gift – His Love and Salvation, something money cannot buy 🙂

Everytime I reflect and think about how much I have gone through and what He has done for me, I cannot help but praise Him for carrying me through for these past 4 years!

Why wait? Seek the meaning of life through God, like I did – seek Him, and you’ll find Him. Now that’s His promise!

Do give Him a chance because He cares for you! 🙂

God loves you!

Agape (in his love)

Click here to see me dump some of my past!

And well, click here for more testimonies from yours truly. It’s only God who can really perform these miracles. I stand here as a testimony of God’s goodness 🙂


3 Responses to “Testimony of Hannah”

  1. Hannah’s Says:

    […] Testimony of Hannah […]

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