Thanks Papa I can be as bold as a lion!

For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind (2 Tim 1:7)

Have I quoted this before? Haha! I only remember this came to my mind when the wild boar charged at my motel in Sri Lanka. That was…quite.a.scare! Anyway just something I gleaned off from the guide – which is boldness in terms of evangelism. However not even in the context of evangelism, what struck me in Acts 4:13 is “They realised they had been with Jesus” – when you have been with Jesus, fear is what we call…HISTORY. Because Jesus rubs off you, and if you don’t see Him in the bible being fearful (sorry I can’t help but chuckle here)

What stands between a person being spoken to and a person, not, is really boldness. And you are possibly the middle-man between your friend and the greatest, most powerful best friend they can ever meet.

If we never step out, we will never see God’s power in action (not only in our lives, but the lives of the people around us)

 

I’m forever Yours chords

I really thought I couldn’t find the chords but I did and thanks to this Jon Loh person, yay! I got it (give honour when due right?). THANK GOD!

Anyway these few days has been nothing short of AMAZING! Everyday I have a God story, and even before I quit my job, there was SO MUCH God did around and in my life (if I can share soon, I’ll try to) 🙂 Let me share 2 stories today I guess. Firstly, regarding the below song (I know the lyrics were already given earlier in the previous entry but…who cares right), what was so awesome was I had to prepare worship and during the morning the song that popped to my head was this song. What blew me away was when I looked at the outline for what one cell group member and I had share tomorrow, the message coincided with the song. In fact, for the past one week of being involved in the cell group ministry about going and being a blessing because we are and will continue to be recipients of what God has given to us

Intro:
G D/F# Em7 D C

Verse one:
C G
I give my all to You
C G
Send me and I will go for You
D
To the ends of the earth
G/B C
I’ll follow after You
F
I want the world to know
C D
Your love endures forever

Verse two:
Tell me and I’ll obey
This is far greater than sacrifice
Trusting You and not myself
Will always lead to blessing
Lord have Your way in me
Not my will, Yours be done

Chorus:
G D/F#
Here I stand within Your presence
Em7 D
Longing for Your touch
C G/B
A thousand days cannot compare
Am7 D
To one day in Your courts
G D/F#
Hold me now
Em7 D
And never ever let me go
C D
My Jesus, my precious Saviour

I’m forever Yours

Bridge:
G D/F# Em7 D
I will worship You forever
C D
I will worship You

—

I suppose this was more of a revelation about myself because all along, I always thought of myself as a support role, encouraging one another and what have you. But I had an interesting conversation with some of the girls just last Tuesday and they agreed that I was leadership material (but the human part of me kept thinking it’s only because I am quite a D (when we talk about the DISC profile) when I’m working and I like to cover all grounds. I also stated how, if I were to be a leader, I would be so subject to being so vulnerable to aches, pain. I shared a story about my zone leader who, just before he left for his honeymoon called one of his straying cell members in the airport, was basically being told (by that member) not to ever call him. That was painful, that was….something and a reality I never thought I would……….even think about. But it is a reality that Christ has already experienced, something, sometimes we have to bear as well, especially if we are called. In fact, what He bore was..unfathomable

And like what I told some that this time during school would be a good time to seek God and indeed, I shall find out more about myself this season! What better time eh?

 

Thank You for the excitement to go to Sri Lanka

It’s pretty cool that when we were praying for the various mission teams, God so moved among us. Even for the team that I’m in, we were given consistent words and we were all encouraged. At one point, we grab each other’s hands and WHAM! God’s presence came down! I was not the only one who felt His presence in such a tangible way 🙂

Anyway as I was contemplating on the below song, I was at my computer when I sensed the same thing. So I whipped out Brownie and started singing. It’s been quite an awesome day, to say the least and BOY I SO CANNOT IMAGINE 5 WEEKS HAS BEEN OVER! More will be shared later I guess, AFTER I READ A FEW MORE CHAPTERS FOR THE BOOK REVIEW:

I give my all to you
Send me and I will go for you
To the ends of the earth
I’ll follow after you
I want the world to know
Your love endures forever

Tell me and I’ll obey
This is far greater than sacrifice
Trusting you and not myself
Will always lead to blessing
Lord have your way in me
Not my will, yours be done

Here I stand within your presence
Longing for your touch
A thousand days cannot compare
To one day in your courts

Hold me now
And never ever let me go
My Jesus, my precious Saviour
I’m forever yours

I will worship you forever
I will worship you

 

Thank You for making me so differently (Part 2)

I was so proud of myself that I could FINALLY parallel park after……………12 years! It’s madness! But I’m glad I did. I thank God for even such a grace, and for teaching me 🙂 It reminded me of what Pastor N prophesied over me (in bold below) about fear, and it’s true. It’s almost as if I’ve been plagued by fear. It’s time, and it’s time. I spoke to the class yesterday about taking things to the next level and it’s time for myself, to come out of this shell, and being a scare-dy cat and be BOLD like a lion! For myself at least, I need to learn to act in boldness! Just thinking it’s quite cool that even for the aspect of parallel parking, there was a sudden boldness. It’s cool that in the natural things are happening as well!

Anyway I want to put in the blog just in case I forget – I’ll probably transcribe another one from Aunty D soon:

Father in Jesus’ name I thank you for R. I release my hand upon her and that You would release Your glory. I pray Lord that the anointing that already recides upon her life, I thank You that she’s completely unusual. I thank You for the sense of logic that you put in her life that is unnatural to her, it’s not natural in a lot of people and it’s so natural to her and sometimes she struggles with why can’t people see it this way. Because You’ve given her the logic, and sense of order in her life. A matter of fact everything she does has to follow a pattern, a certain order. It’s her makeup and wiring of her life.

I ask for the release of anointing specially boldness. There are a lot of things she wants to do but it’s almost like, if there’s anything right now I need to take care of, Lord I pray that You would remove, like a stripping away to take place like of any sense of fear especially in the area of ministry, things to do with people, remove that fear in Jesus name

Not only that Lord, I thank You that her heart is a heart that is full of longing and desire. You know I say to you there are songs yet to be birthed that need to be birthed through your life; there are prophetic songs that are yet to be birthed that need to be birthed, that the Lord wants birth through your life. I say to you not only open your mouth, but open your mouth for the life of God to flow through your mouth.
And also write songs. Write songs. Write songs. What you have above, what you do in your heart, write them down so that the world will be blessed by it. Write songs. And in the coming days, by the hand of God, draw things, paint things.

Father I just thank You for your hand upon her life, and I thank You Lord that you would, you will use her.. you will use her. Let the word of fire be on her mouth, let the preacher rise up within her. Let that preacher rise up within her. Let that preacher rise up within her.

 

Thank You for making me so differently (Part 1)

To even say that today has been interesting would be an understatement. And I realized how I need to pen, well type out, most of what I have learnt because I don’t want to forget. I want to look back, re-read my thoughts and know and know and know, that…. 🙂 Well, I think I have to pick up the boy soon so I thought I should share another email I wrote to him today:

U know what’s pretty cool? J (the one who was helping Pastor R the other day) prayed for me…and interesting he was supposed to pray for my gastric problem, but he stopped after praying a little and somehow the spirit prompted him to pray for my whole body, u know for like the longest time I’ve been having problems with like so many parts of my body? I thought it was really cool!!!

And he mentioned something even more which I haven’t even shared with anyone even you – it’s about us. Its so recent. Because last night after N shared about her going over to to J’s church etc, I came to God (this also happened in the car) and asked Him what about me, what about us. It wasn’t a “it isn’t fair Lord” sort of lament, but it felt like my best friend seems to be moving forward especially when it came to ministry, especially with her other half, and there seemed like there is so much clarity. And as for myself I’m well…just where I am. Not to mention even us together as a couple.

And you know what J said? That we quarrel from time to time..but in time to come both of us will have a ministry together. This is not the season and at least for myself I still need to wait on Him because its a season of foundations. How spot on was that! At least for myself!

Amazing how God comes into the picture so quickly. And I’m so thankful! It’s like in Psalm 42 which says that “When my spirit was overwhelmed within me, then You knew my path” (verse 3). Thank You Lord. Thank You Lord. There was quite a bit that was shared from both J and Pastor N, and I’ll take these few days to write a bit more but I’m so excited! It’s almost as though there was some exchange that took place!

*grin*

Guess I’ll write soon again, but for now it’s time to pick the boy up 🙂

 

Thank God for the bible

My flesh and my heart fail; but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever (Psa 73:26)

That was the exact same thing I texted the boy (the subject that is). Interesting how one’s feelings can take a turn and swing from one end to the other. But even through this I thank God for

1) His word (to be exact we talked about Psalms today) that comforts me – EXACTLY what we went through the class tonight

2) EVEN curiously clicking on this link which was almost the exact thing I was feeling – loneliness, which will be elaborated in the letter to the boy

3) The interesting almost-instant rebuke to me about my all-too-quick judgemental jest about this psalm that we went through this evening.

In Psalm 139, there is a change of tone/theme, and the pastor questioned why there would be such a twist. I jokingly offered “Wa, Bipolar la!”, however one student seriously said that sometimes it happens to her. Lord…I pray that you would forgive me for too swiftly brushing her comment aside and even said I would never come to that place. You showed me on that day itself (through circumstances) how wrong I was. I’m sorry

4) Showing me my foul inner self. I keep catching myself having that whole silly holier-than-thou attitude. IT REALLY STINKS. Lord I’m sorry. I want to be authentic. I want to be sensitive to your spirit so I can be a proper representative of You even in my heart. Help me Lord

Well….I wrote a quick email to Harry about something I went through earlier (maybe 30 minutes ago). I thought it would be cool to paste it here:

My eyes are all swollen now and funnily enough, after saying good night to you over the phone, I started crying – I had another chat with N. I think by the end of the year, she’ll be leaving for the other church. It didn’t help the feelings of loss and emptiness followed suit and suddenly I felt so alone. Being human, even in the midst of all of it, I started thinking and running through the people whom I can go to next if I need help (yes, I know). When I stepped into my house I stopped crying because I heard my brother talking to my mother (so in case, as usual, they see me they start to question, I walked up bravely in case I met either of them). As soon I closed the door, and I went to the toilet…..I started to cry. But this time around, it was different. Less than a few minutes, I felt that the Lord was pin-pointing at one aspect that I never really noticed – dependency on man. That……got me.

It was a sudden revelation – like I realised the root problem, why I was crying, why I felt lost. It was actually a dependency issue. It really hurt (oh man I’m crying again). I think it really ached, but it was more so because I realised how much I have depended on N. But the Lord revealed a reality in the impending removal of this crutch – that I haven’t really relied on Him as much as I thought I did. And boy did I cry and I asked for forgiveness………………………………………..I haven’t cried this much. It’s as if my spirit was crying out so hard. Call it a coincidence (though I don’t believe in that), but we were going through Psalm 73 when the pastor asked us where in this Psalm did the writer have a change (where the tone changes). No one could answer properly and when I quipped that from verse 17 (when he caught a glimpse of the Lord) onwards, he turns back to God and it all leads up to the point where he realised that God, and only God, was and should be His portion. Interesting I actually could learn about this portion of the psalm through this, so quickly.

Thank God.

 

For people who know anybody who is suffering

I’ve been hearing so much people around me suffering cancer and all sorts of illness, and for a while I was really upset. Well, upset isn’t the word. I guess I was more affected (for the lack of a better word). But as I was thinking about, something in my heart stirred. And I wanted to write to my cousin but didn’t have the time. Thankfully, during my lunch, I had some time so I emailed her and hope it encouraged her. And I pray that as I cut-and-paste my email for her, that IF you are in any situation like hers (where her dad’s suffering from cancer, her cousin’s kid has cancer and what not), really…look up. I’m also writing to myself if such a thing happens to me because, we just need a bit of a nudge and encouragement from time to time:

Been wanting to write this short email to u for the longest time, since you emailed me about your dad (you know, accepting your offer to pray for him). Look that’s AWESOME! And that’s a step! You said earlier in one of your emails that you are praying through this time, your parents will know and experience His love. And in one way, it’s through us, you and I 🙂 The fact that he teared says something already! May I encourage you to continue on and press in! You know, in Galatians 6:9, it says not to be weary in doing good. And read on in the verse, that “at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up“!

For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, when whatever seems so dim, especially when another family member, G, is also ill. But let’s not grow tired, let’s not look to the left or right, let’s not give up! Initially I was a little upset that so much is happening (I’m sure you feel it more than me) but we NEVER know what is happening in the spiritual realm, what’s at battle, and what’s at stake here. But the word came to me about the fact that we are not wrestling against flesh and blood, and the Lord IS our fighter, the one who fights our battles and He sees and knows. He hears EVERY prayer and cry that goes up to Him. And He IS with us 🙂

I think it’s time to be active, to be offensive. Let’s take this battle of cancer by its horns:

1) One active step (we start with baby steps) is to lay hands on the affected area and pray for it. I think we can start from there. And yes, your dad. You can even say “Dad, I want to pray for you” and before he can even say yes or no, you lay hands and pray already. HAHA!

2) Another aspect, again, is to speak life. And speak destiny, future. Nobody is too old for this.

3) Affirmation of love: God is love, and for your dad, for G, it’s really to continually tell them that God loves them. Whether or not your dad believes, is another matter. But this affirmation of love (be it through words, or even actions, like a hug) can do wonders, and it sows a seed.

Would it be okay if you could forward this email to your cousin (if you think it’s okay because you are afterall closer to them than I am). I thought I want to encourage yourself, your cousin and his wife. It’s really not easy for your family, and his especially when someone so young is suffering. I’m praying for G and your dad. I’m praying for such a turning around of situations and that God’s hand will be upon their lives. And I’m praying that His presence will be sooo strong as you guys lay hands on the respective family members! 🙂 I’m praying also that there will be such a mighty work of healing that God gets the glory!

So let’s not give up, let’s LOOK UP! 😉

 

Thank God that I’m going to be 35….soon!

I know I’ve been writing a lot for today but who’s complaining? 🙂

One time this week, I was just sharing with Harry about what I wanted to do if I had a place for myself. I would want to bake for my neighbours, establish more than a cordial relationship with them. I didn’t see them as just neighbours, but people whom God has placed in my life. In fact, I would love to have such a relationship with at least a few of them so I can share His love, show His love!

Well, I only shared the first part of what I wanted to do to Harry. I did add that I wanted to invite them to my house to have just a meal together. This would be on a monthly basis.

Harry felt that it was a little ambitious. And I suppose we left it as that. I went home that evening and I thought about it. Actually it’s good that I’m ambitious. Why you may ask? I’d rather have certain dreams, certain ambitions and be that sort of person, than to have none.

🙂

I seriously cannot wait to have my own place. 35 years old, 35 years old!

 

Thanks Papa for even days like these

My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness (2 Corinthians 12:9)

Do you have one of those days when you feel that all that you’ve worked for, the efforts that you’ve put in have come to naught? Well, I’m probably experiencing one of those days when I feel like I don’t even want to try for the day. Yes it’s a tad bit dramatic but don’t tell me you don’t have those days?

Even though I’m still feeling a little yucks (for the lack of a better word), I know and I know that the Lord grants me enough grace to get through this day. I like what one of the pastors shared before, and he took it from Colin Powell’s “It worked for me” and hope this blesses you as well:

It ain’t as bad as you think. It’ll look better in the morning: this rule reflects on an attitude and not a prediction. It’s to keep our confidence and optimism up, no matter how difficult the situation. A good night’s rest and the passage of just eight hours will usually reduce the severity of how the situation looks.

Well, just one of those days, R. Just one of those days 🙂

 

This is for ANYONE grumpy.

It’s just one of those days when you wake up on the wrong side of bed and you’re a little grumpy; and my family works this way, if you’re not yourself they will badger you until you “explain” why you’re not being yourself.

Sometimes, a person needs her space. And sometimes one needs to just warm up after waking up. I’m not really a naturally cheerful person when I wake up (that’s why I need Him). And of course, I was a little more irritated after lunch, so I looked to Him and played a few songs. I am a little better. Thank God for songs that uplift one’s spirit!

For those who feel like crap sometimes, may I encourage you to sing. Yes, sing to Him even if you don’t feel like it. He WILL come and tabernacle with you; He WILL come and cause you to quieten down your heart; He WILL be your shelter in whatever situation you are in 🙂

This is a simple song, I kept singing this repeatedly until I felt better. Hope this will help:

G C D
I sing praises to Your name, O Lord
Bm Em
Praises to Your name, O Lord
Am7 C D C D G
For Your name is great and greatly to be praised

(repeat)

C D
I give glory to Your name, O Lord
Bm Em
Glory to Your name, O Lord
Am7 C D C D G
For Your name is great and greatly to be praised

(repeat)