I’m forever Yours chords

I really thought I couldn’t find the chords but I did and thanks to this Jon Loh person, yay! I got it (give honour when due right?). THANK GOD!

Anyway these few days has been nothing short of AMAZING! Everyday I have a God story, and even before I quit my job, there was SO MUCH God did around and in my life (if I can share soon, I’ll try to) 🙂 Let me share 2 stories today I guess. Firstly, regarding the below song (I know the lyrics were already given earlier in the previous entry but…who cares right), what was so awesome was I had to prepare worship and during the morning the song that popped to my head was this song. What blew me away was when I looked at the outline for what one cell group member and I had share tomorrow, the message coincided with the song. In fact, for the past one week of being involved in the cell group ministry about going and being a blessing because we are and will continue to be recipients of what God has given to us

Intro:
G D/F# Em7 D C

Verse one:
C G
I give my all to You
C G
Send me and I will go for You
D
To the ends of the earth
G/B C
I’ll follow after You
F
I want the world to know
C D
Your love endures forever

Verse two:
Tell me and I’ll obey
This is far greater than sacrifice
Trusting You and not myself
Will always lead to blessing
Lord have Your way in me
Not my will, Yours be done

Chorus:
G D/F#
Here I stand within Your presence
Em7 D
Longing for Your touch
C G/B
A thousand days cannot compare
Am7 D
To one day in Your courts
G D/F#
Hold me now
Em7 D
And never ever let me go
C D
My Jesus, my precious Saviour

I’m forever Yours

Bridge:
G D/F# Em7 D
I will worship You forever
C D
I will worship You

—

I suppose this was more of a revelation about myself because all along, I always thought of myself as a support role, encouraging one another and what have you. But I had an interesting conversation with some of the girls just last Tuesday and they agreed that I was leadership material (but the human part of me kept thinking it’s only because I am quite a D (when we talk about the DISC profile) when I’m working and I like to cover all grounds. I also stated how, if I were to be a leader, I would be so subject to being so vulnerable to aches, pain. I shared a story about my zone leader who, just before he left for his honeymoon called one of his straying cell members in the airport, was basically being told (by that member) not to ever call him. That was painful, that was….something and a reality I never thought I would……….even think about. But it is a reality that Christ has already experienced, something, sometimes we have to bear as well, especially if we are called. In fact, what He bore was..unfathomable

And like what I told some that this time during school would be a good time to seek God and indeed, I shall find out more about myself this season! What better time eh?

 

Thank You for the excitement to go to Sri Lanka

It’s pretty cool that when we were praying for the various mission teams, God so moved among us. Even for the team that I’m in, we were given consistent words and we were all encouraged. At one point, we grab each other’s hands and WHAM! God’s presence came down! I was not the only one who felt His presence in such a tangible way 🙂

Anyway as I was contemplating on the below song, I was at my computer when I sensed the same thing. So I whipped out Brownie and started singing. It’s been quite an awesome day, to say the least and BOY I SO CANNOT IMAGINE 5 WEEKS HAS BEEN OVER! More will be shared later I guess, AFTER I READ A FEW MORE CHAPTERS FOR THE BOOK REVIEW:

I give my all to you
Send me and I will go for you
To the ends of the earth
I’ll follow after you
I want the world to know
Your love endures forever

Tell me and I’ll obey
This is far greater than sacrifice
Trusting you and not myself
Will always lead to blessing
Lord have your way in me
Not my will, yours be done

Here I stand within your presence
Longing for your touch
A thousand days cannot compare
To one day in your courts

Hold me now
And never ever let me go
My Jesus, my precious Saviour
I’m forever yours

I will worship you forever
I will worship you

 

Thank God for the bible

My flesh and my heart fail; but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever (Psa 73:26)

That was the exact same thing I texted the boy (the subject that is). Interesting how one’s feelings can take a turn and swing from one end to the other. But even through this I thank God for

1) His word (to be exact we talked about Psalms today) that comforts me – EXACTLY what we went through the class tonight

2) EVEN curiously clicking on this link which was almost the exact thing I was feeling – loneliness, which will be elaborated in the letter to the boy

3) The interesting almost-instant rebuke to me about my all-too-quick judgemental jest about this psalm that we went through this evening.

In Psalm 139, there is a change of tone/theme, and the pastor questioned why there would be such a twist. I jokingly offered “Wa, Bipolar la!”, however one student seriously said that sometimes it happens to her. Lord…I pray that you would forgive me for too swiftly brushing her comment aside and even said I would never come to that place. You showed me on that day itself (through circumstances) how wrong I was. I’m sorry

4) Showing me my foul inner self. I keep catching myself having that whole silly holier-than-thou attitude. IT REALLY STINKS. Lord I’m sorry. I want to be authentic. I want to be sensitive to your spirit so I can be a proper representative of You even in my heart. Help me Lord

Well….I wrote a quick email to Harry about something I went through earlier (maybe 30 minutes ago). I thought it would be cool to paste it here:

My eyes are all swollen now and funnily enough, after saying good night to you over the phone, I started crying – I had another chat with N. I think by the end of the year, she’ll be leaving for the other church. It didn’t help the feelings of loss and emptiness followed suit and suddenly I felt so alone. Being human, even in the midst of all of it, I started thinking and running through the people whom I can go to next if I need help (yes, I know). When I stepped into my house I stopped crying because I heard my brother talking to my mother (so in case, as usual, they see me they start to question, I walked up bravely in case I met either of them). As soon I closed the door, and I went to the toilet…..I started to cry. But this time around, it was different. Less than a few minutes, I felt that the Lord was pin-pointing at one aspect that I never really noticed – dependency on man. That……got me.

It was a sudden revelation – like I realised the root problem, why I was crying, why I felt lost. It was actually a dependency issue. It really hurt (oh man I’m crying again). I think it really ached, but it was more so because I realised how much I have depended on N. But the Lord revealed a reality in the impending removal of this crutch – that I haven’t really relied on Him as much as I thought I did. And boy did I cry and I asked for forgiveness………………………………………..I haven’t cried this much. It’s as if my spirit was crying out so hard. Call it a coincidence (though I don’t believe in that), but we were going through Psalm 73 when the pastor asked us where in this Psalm did the writer have a change (where the tone changes). No one could answer properly and when I quipped that from verse 17 (when he caught a glimpse of the Lord) onwards, he turns back to God and it all leads up to the point where he realised that God, and only God, was and should be His portion. Interesting I actually could learn about this portion of the psalm through this, so quickly.

Thank God.

 

My mum, a great mother

Whatever your hand finds to do, do it with all your might, for in the realm of the dead, where you are going, there is neither working nor planning nor knowledge nor wisdom (Ecclesiastes 9:10)

These few weeks have been an interesting time. There were 2 deaths in the family. One was more shocking than the other. I suppose the only thing that I took home from all these was the fact that there should be NO ROOM for regret at the point when any person passes on.

I’ve heard a couple of people (upon hearing about deaths, especially sudden ones) say “Well, life’s short. We might as well play hard” or “We should just live life to the fullest”, and that is steered normally toward things like partying. But I might want to say, that it’s foolish talk. And, might I add childish.

I told my brother, and many close friends who were willing to hear me out, one thing: Yes, life is short, especially when one passes on. But more than that, we are to live life to the fullest, and that means to live in such a way where we make whatever/whoever matters matter. And one’s breath is his/her last, we wouldn’t live to regret that we could have done more. Because that would be too late. Tears at the deathbed should be tears of mourning, and not of regret.

And interestingly, there was a surprise party thrown for my mother today. Earlier, during a quiet moment with God in the morning, I asked God for grace to allow me to do what I needed to do for today, and to do whatever necessary for His will to be done. And I was reminded about what I mentioned above.

I would like to share what I’ve poured out tonight in front of friends and relatives. I’ve not only poured out my heart, I suppose tears were pouring out too. Ha! Well, it was really an honour to hear so much being said about my mother today. And this is a glimpse of her (that I would like to share) which is summed up in the following paragraphs:

Well…I thought to myself during the period of my mum’s birthday that we could do something different. And while many have tried to persuade me not to for various reasons (like it’s too last minute, or her birthday is already over), I thought better late than never. And one of the main reasons why I asked all of you here is not to only celebrate a birthday, or a 寿. It’s more than that. It’s to show appreciation to my mother.

What can I say about my mother? That was something I thought about yesterday and have been doing so today. It’s hard to sum up a person in a mere 5 minutes, especially someone who watched me grow up for close to 3 decades, someone who has probably seen me at my best and even my worst.

My relationship with her especially in my teens and early twenties was not the most pleasant. I think my godpa would be able to attest that I wasn’t the most easy daughter to have but I thank God for a great mother who, despite many moments when I probably said and did hurtful things to her to her face and, loved me the best she could, and the best she knew how.

My relationship with mum improved as I started going back to church in my mid-twenties. God opened my eyes to some things about my mum that I have overlooked during the early 2/3s of my lifetime. The fact that she sacrifices for the family in more ways than one, the fact that she puts us before herself, the fact that she gives and does so much for others full knowing that there are possibly more limitations than advantages (and no rewards would come out of it). This says it all.

To sum up, I would like to take this opportunity to thank God for a mummy who brought me up, constantly taking time to even deposit nuggets of legitimacies into my life, showing love to the family and well, for being and trying to be the best wife, mum, sister, daughter, friend to those around her. Thank you so much and I love you.

🙂

And looking back at what I prayed this morning, I suppose, I did what was needed for today. I’m going to bed a satisfied girl. Thanks Papa for everything tonight.

I suppose my challenge for all who are reading this is…life is short, it really is. Life will whizz by before we know it. And relationships (other than work, church) are all you have. What are you going to do about your relationships today? Are you going to treasure those around you, honour those who deems a need for it? How can you improve of who you have now?

Ultimately, we’ll be accountable to Him for our relationships so it’s time to start, it’s time to try, and it’s time for a change!

 

Big and small prayers

Gosh there’s just so much to say today. I guess, first, I’ll talk about what Mrs Shrek encouraged us a few months ago – to have big AND small prayer requests. It’s to build up faith in Him. I guess it builds up a foundation knowing we have a prayer-answering, loving God as well. It’s one thing we read about Him, it’s another when it’s translated out from the living word.

For the case and example of today, after going through this conversation I heard in my car this week (I talked about how we can call out to Him)  I met one of my cell group mates. She was really sick and has been sick for a good couple of weeks. She lamented that she’s never felt this down, physically, for a while. And I offered to pray for her. When I laid hands on her, I was brought to remembrance again, about how Jesus healed the sick. And I said a short, simple prayer. I humbly prayed and pulled out the fact that there were so much that was documented about the healings of God. This was done verbally. As I was praying, I was also desperately (in my head – ha! A prayer within a prayer) asking God to do show us something. If He were a healing God then, He can also heal now right? And more importantly, for myself, I have seen His hand of healing quite a number of times and I had to pull that out as well.

I’ve another testimony – this is personal. At work, to cut the long story short, I did something REALLY wrong by accident. And of course I was mortified. Seriously. The first thing I did was cry to Him in desperation (I could have lost my job) and pulled out the other time when He pulled through for my colleague (when I prayed for him). Trust me. If I could have gone on my knees, I would have. AND MY GOD SAVED ME. I was not scolded, my boss even joked. And God turned the situation around. Wow.

I guess all I’m saying is prayers assist when you pray for people because you are a living testimony praying for more testimonies to be written! Praying small prayers and having them answered, also helps put building blocks for laying a foundation of our God, and it also helps in our next times when we come to Him in prayer, knowing that our God answers prayers (and it’s not head knowledge). It allows you to come to that place of boldness and confidence that God CAN work a miracle!

I think that’s quite exciting, and quite a place I want to be in! I want to be more tenacious in my prayers!

What about you?

 

Growth

And since we are his children, we are his heirs. In fact, together with Christ we are heirs of God’s glory. But if we are to share his glory, we must also share his suffering (Rom 8:7, NLT)

I was tweeting this – that my life’s been a drama. Seriously, ask anyone who knows my stories and there would be a myriad of interesting (sometimes even stupid) stories. But after laughing at myself when I look back at my younger and more foolish days, I’m also reminded of…well, His hand in everything I do. I cannot deny that 🙂

I was just telling XY about some stories just now during lunch about my relationships. Like for example, one time I told God that I couldn’t live with Skywalker, and definitely at that point in time, I probably felt I would, don’t mind me being dramatic, die without him. But towards the end of 2008, when I ended things with S, yes, I was devastated but God started a process of restoration (of various aspects of my life). And it propelled me to greater heights.

Let’s fast forward half a year later (from the time I broke up with S), I had another shaking. It seemed like a breakup after another. This time round, it was the best friend from college. This person basically for the lack of a better phrase, called things off – basically wanted the “best friend” title to be lifted from this particular friendship. I remember, at that point in time, I was really hurt. In fact I called two friends after that phone conversation and cried my guts out. But what was interesting was the fact that earlier during that year, God already prompted me about this. Or well, kind of. During service one day, I was just thinking I couldn’t live without certain friends. And Papa gently gave a few names, one of which was this friend’s name. I said without blinking an eye that I couldn’t. Months later, I was one best-friend less (if that’s gramatically correct).

After a bit of reflection and not to mention, growing up a little in the house of God, I came to an understanding that He was probably sieving and refining me in terms of my friendships. And more importantly, upon looking back, and getting closer to Him, there’s really no one I should fear losing, or even say I cannot live without. Because if certan things happen, ie for example of losing certain people in my life, then maybe it really happened for a reason. God opens and closes doors for a purpose. And He gives grace when we think we cannot, after all, He will not let us go through what we cannot bear 🙂 And ultimately, His hand is on our situations for everything – that’s something that I know and will hold on to 🙂

So for those out there who feel they are giving up, take heed, lift your head high – He’s with you EVERY step of the way. The shakings we go through is necessary for us to grow up, to be more like Jesus and we then, are able to partake and share in His glory! What an awesome promise to behold!

 

Thanks Papa for dessert last night

I had quite a good conversation with that friend whom I had dinner with and I remember asking this budding interior designer one question – what inspires you and all your work? It’s a valid question because of what she is doing as a living but it is a fascinating question, for myself personally, because I never really thought about it, that directly anyway. She answered my question and asked me the same enquiry I shot at her (why didn’t I expect that ha!)

Interesting.

I really don’t know how to fully explain this because as you’d probably know I write about anything and everything.

What inspires me to write whatever I write on my blog? What pushes me to do certain things? What is my impetus? 🙂 I mean, inspiration is afterall a stimulation of the mind or emotions to a high level of feeling or activity. Oops, I had to check the dictionary but ultimately I suppose to a certain extent, what makes you tick has got to do with your priorities. Hence my answer to this athiest was “I get my inspiration from well, I suppose friends, family and God”.

What took me by surprise was our later conversation (when we were having dessert). If I remember correctly, we were discussing moving to another country and she asked me if I would, given a chance.

I laughed because if I were to bring you back 5 years ago, I wanted to stay in Australia but God had His plans. I came back for S, but after a series of events, I broke it off with S and for some reason, He turned my eyes back to my family – a part of my life that I had intentionally neglected for years.

I mean, yes of course I would love to because I love the exposure. Besides, going overseas would probably mean the potential of earning more and building up what many would call, a “successful life”. Did I also mention the freedom, flexibility to do anything I want just because I want to? But this is taking a back seat for one reason, and one reason only. It’s a vulgar word that starts with an “F”. It’s crudely indecent, coarse and unrefined. It’s family. I mean, afterall, only family probably knows and has experienced your unrefined moments, your indecent incidences and coarse exchanges. Other than God, family is one aspect of your life which probably has experienced the real you. And yes, I’m here because of my family. And I attribute this to God, who opened my eyes.

I’m here for my family because God said so and has put in me a desire to stay. I mean, physically, I’m here because of my parents right? And like what I told the atheist friend, I want to see my brother mature to his full potential (or at least something to this extent). I mean, I haven’t started with the other members of the family. I am willing to sacrifice even more, if it means not earning more or putting away certain plans. I mean, people may think I’m mad to do this but the work in my family’s not finished yet.

🙂 That’s probably all I have to say. Hope I made sense. And well, it was quite hilarious because that friend of mine just murmured “You are so selfless” but well, I’m trying my best as I’m learning from the best – Jesus. Heh. And well, without God I cannot imagine what I would be doing. I mean, if I were still in Singapore, I would have moved out, and maybe visit the parents once a month or something.

Well, that’s as much as I can type and I’m quite zapped now frankly. I suppose I’ll rest for just a bit before I get cracking with work!

 

Thanks Papa for this unexpected message to a friend

Thi is the edited version of an extremely long sms that was sent to a friend. I was really struggling so hard but I am glad I did what I did – look to Him instead of anything else. Well this hair cut (I am cutting my hair) signifies a reminder that I should cut off any form of bitterness, hurt, anger that I may possibly go through this week because of something that has happened. I just thank God that I am close enough to Papa to not be stumbled or even leave where I am:

Amazing.. I was at the pedi place and I didn’t really dwell on it..(possibly hasn’t sunken in too) but I was just reading two of David’s psalms – that helped me so much… I mean from whence comes our help? HE is our very help in our time of need and He is our comfort when we feel any type of emotion.. Regarding whatever unnecessary words tat have been spoken well, I suppose it’s jus a reminder for us to also be careful with our words because ultimately we are accountable to Him for EVERY intentional and unintentional spoken word 🙂 If anything let’s continue to remind each other about speaking loosely. We are to speak life into the lives of ppl ard us! 🙂 Thanks4everythin2day. Seriously dun feel guilty or regret tellin me cos I rather hear it frm u and more imptly I learnt something so practical 🙂 I mean we always say look up to Him for anythin but only when e storm comes, u’re tested and WHEN u actually look to Him,He comes thru and He comforts.Funny how a few days ago was makin my bro memorise psa 23 bout how God is our comfort 🙂 There is always something learnt 🙂 Wat’s even more interesting is when Pst Sushil said tt God’d give me friends to aid me..maybe part of e reason y tt was being said to me is He knew something was goin to happen.For the past few days esp I was questionin myself whether I was being a friend to this person and whether I did anythin wrong..so wat u said gave me some sorta release :p talk more tom

Note on the 4th Aug: I realise this entry is a tad bit dramatic but you cannot fanthom (did I spell this right) how crappy I was feeling. Anyway God is still doing a deep work in me regarding this and I thank Him 😉

 

Thanks Papa for meeting with us during camp!

I just got back from church camp – it came and went just in a blink of an eye. And it’s awesome to see how our efforts (for the activities team, more specifically the DON’T FORGET THE LYRICS segment) came to fruition (plus God glued everything together so magnificently). The atmosphere was electrifying and just watching everyone enjoying themselves, praising God throughout the game, wow. All I can say is God was definitely pleased with watching his children enjoying themselves in His presence. It’s even more amazing to see how God flowed and moved through out the camp. God’ presence was so strong throughout and I’m just thankful 🙂

Mrs Shrek also emailed us and it’s something to ponder about:

Had a great church camp!! =) It was awesome! =) There was such a tremendous presence of the Lord in the meetings and acc to Pstr Y, it was e best church camp he ever attended! i enjoyed the speakers tremendously as testimony after testimony was shared on the amazing ability of God to breakthrough in extreme real life circumstances.

One thing tt struck me , was there was corporately a sense of expectation for God to show up. And show up He did. =) Music Director told me that he felt the Lord ask “What do you want of me” and you know, sometimes God shows up and we’re left dumbfounded, cos we haven’t really thought about it. =)

Anyway I think I’d better go back to rest because I’m really really tired physically (my whole body is aching from the lack of sleep and carrying a tonload of kids) – I may even be running a temperature but I still need to go back to work tomorrow. I suppose I’d have to rest properly during the weekend. And I will try to put up what another Pastor wrote about the camp. Till next time….

🙂

All glory to Him who made this camp really memorable!

 

Thanks Papa for these people who make my day!

Why are you cast down, O my soul? And why are you disquieted within me? Hope in God, for I shall yet praise Him For the help of His countenance (Psalm 42:5)

With the email system being wonky (again), SN’s occasional remarks and just everything else under the sun, I was severely irritated. I was just quietly asking God to help me and in less than a minute, one of my clients called. He posed a silly question which made my day for some reason “Is my friend (ie my boss) bullying you?”

🙂

Thanks Papa for these little gestures. Sometimes these little things just make my day!

I really thank Him for placing people in my life who give me things, and do silly things 🙂 Like yesterday I received something from someone and I was really amused. Thanks Papa for this friend as well 🙂

Anyway maybe it’s time to make a trip to the toilet to pray for a while 🙂